so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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