thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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