she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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