i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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