I wish life had little blips of pornography
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
