You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
