you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
