So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
