Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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