Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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