Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
