Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i think i just lost a toe
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
