p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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