I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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