Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
