Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
