I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
