i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
