everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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