Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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