I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
