I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
