She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
