Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
