I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
