I cockslap morals
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
