I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
