He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
