I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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