God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
