I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
