I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
