god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
