why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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