Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's always time for handjobs
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
