im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
