3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
