I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
