It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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