bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
