We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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