Reggie can tackle my bush.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
