ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
