no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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