This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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