its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
