They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
