just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
