we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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