Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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