apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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