i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
