she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
